A relaxing rehearsal dinner makes wedding day excitement more manageable 
Whether the wedding is the result of a year-long planning process with multiple attendees, sit-down dinner, and all the trimmings, or a smaller, relatively low-key affair, the rehearsal dinner the night before is just as much a tradition as any other aspect of the happy couple’s big day.
Just like the wedding, it needs planning, but unlike that dazzling attention-getter, the rehearsal dinner is usually a more low-key, casual, and relaxed occasion. A little bit of calm before the storm—so to speak.
Traditionally, the groom’s parents arrange, host, and pay for the rehearsal dinner, but like everything else, that once hard-and-fast rule has been revised. Brides and grooms—or any combination thereof!—today are older, generally already financially secure, and are less inclined to strictly adhere to tradition. Nevertheless, there are some “ground rules.”
Who?
The guest list at a rehearsal dinner generally includes immediate family—including grandparents, stepparents, and siblings who are not in the wedding party; the wedding party; the officiant; and all of their respective spouses, partners, or plus-ones. It is not unusual to include a favorite aunt or close friends who have traveled a long way. Unless they are too young, it’s gracious and kind to include any children of the soon-to-be newlyweds from previous marriages or relationships, as well as young attendants, like the ring bearer or flower girl, and their parents.
Where?
When thinking location, think convenience. Keep the dinner 30 minutes’ travel time or less from the wedding venue or the hotel or part of town where most guests live or will be staying. After all, the last thing anyone wants after a lengthy drive or uncomfortable flight is another long trip. If the budget will bear it, offering transportation is always appreciated. The rehearsal dinner also offers planners the opportunity to be more creative—restaurants with private dining rooms, breweries, or parks and gardens with food trucks. Even private homes can serve beautifully, if space permits.
When?
The night before the wedding, and generally right after the rehearsal—thus the name—is the usual time for the dinner. However, some modern couples are replacing the rehearsal dinner with an after-wedding event, usually a day or two after the ceremony, with the folks who would otherwise have been invited to the rehearsal dinner. The polite “pleasure to meet you’s” of the night before, and the excitement and seemingly breathtaking pace of the big day, are over, and the atmosphere is more relaxed and casual.
Why?
The rehearsal dinner doesn’t need to be extravagant to be unforgettable. Whether it’s an elegant meal with champagne toasts or a casual evening with tacos and beer, the event offers meaningful moments before the big day. When planned with care and authenticity, the rehearsal dinner becomes more than a “getting to know you” act of politeness the night before—it becomes the kick-off to a lifetime of memories.
